Are We Technically Killing our Relationships?

 “All you need is love..love is all you need”

We as a society have come a long way since Beatles sang this in 1960s.

Today we do need love, but with it, we also need “Space, money, self esteem, egos, big cars, cool gadgets, hi fashion clothes, no questions please, maybe a little freedom to stray” in our relationships. Love, obviously has taken a back seat.

Ironically, now, whenever we are asked, “Who is your ideal couple?”, we usually point at someone from the previous generation. Our parents, grandparents or uncles and aunts. I wonder what is it that they did right and got it going. Well, most of them at least seemed to…

For starters I think, they said their “I love yous” in person, one on one; rather than declare their undying feelings on Facebook. I guess they spent more time talking face to face than on SMSs and Whatsapp.

Today when couples go out for dinner, their first priority seems to be clicking a selfie and putting up on a social media site. Throughout the dinner, they are constantly checking how many ‘likes’ their picture gets. The entire idea of spending time with each other goes for a toss. Isn’t it?

So before we all relationships fall prey to technical glitches, here are a few ‘relationship vows’ put together by couples who have been through rough patches and relationship turbulences, yet stuck to each other and complete each other:

I will give you my time: Make a ‘together ritual’. It can be your morning tea in the balcony, a post dinner walk or gardening time. Something you do together, when you are exclusively there for each other. Do not compromise on it, put your gadgets aside and just be there in person.

I will give you your dreams: Many times you give your dreams a break so that the other one can flourish. You do it because the happiness and needs of your loved one is more important. But with time frustration sinks in, you feel your ‘sacrifice’ is not being appreciated. So let’s be sensitive, appreciative each other and communicate how important the partner’s role is. When the time is right, give each other the right momentum to start again, gain the lost confidence once again.

I will not judge you: You are a team. Win or lose you have to stick together. Blame games just make the team fall apart.

I will fight my battle in the right spirit: One thing leads to another, it’s always like this. So if there’s an issue, sort it out then and there. Don’t let it snowball into an avalanche. Agree, it’s difficult, but fight your battles with some logic. An interesting tip someone gave was, if you are mad at your partner, write a mail venting your anguish, don’t censor anything, just write. But don’t send the mail. Read it the next day, with a cooler mind. Most of the times, you would end up thanking yourself for not venting out and saying things you shouldn’t have.

I will share my responsibilities: When you are sharing love, you better share your liabilities and responsibilities too. Fair enough.

I will not smother you in the relationship: Love shouldn’t spell the end of your social life and other relationships. You still have a life to live, work to do, relationships to keep. Please give each other space and time to pursue your interests. You must feel happy; not tied down.

So folks, let’s fall in love and rise in it. Let’s revel in our relationships and celebrate the joy of being together with someone we love.